In celebration of women

Dear Carter, March 8th was International Women’s Day, and March is Women’s History Month. Obviously, you’re my sweet boy, my son who didn’t get the chance to become the wonderful man I know you’d be. Still, men can (and should) play a vital role in bringing about changes to the common worldview that women are…

Convictions

Dear Carter, A few nights ago, Daddy and I had a conversation about beliefs. We talked about what we were raised by your grandparents to believe as children, and how some of those ideas have changed as we have gotten older and had life experiences of our own.  We talked about how some of those…

Happy 1st Birthday

Dear Carter, Today isn’t really your birthday. It was this past Sunday, February 4th. I wanted to write to you on your actual birthday, but in all honesty, it was all I could do to get out of bed that day. It was one of the hardest days since the day you left. It was…

To my brown boy on MLK day

*This post contains explicit language and political opinions. If you’re offended, stop reading now.* Dear Carter, A few days ago, I learned of just one more example of the racism and bigotry of the most powerful man in the world, our nation’s president. During a meeting on immigration with the US Congress, Mr. Trump said…

A letter to Mommy

Dear Carter, Do you remember Ms. Jocelyn? She’s the sweet lactation consultant that Mommy called when you and I needed help learning how to breastfeed. She’s the one I called from the hospital when I knew you wouldn’t ever need my milk again and I wanted to know how to make it dry up. And…

Trick or Treat

Dear Carter, Tuesday was Halloween, soooooo….happy Halloween! I had a whirlwind of a morning at work; I was busy running around and thinking hard about work things and enjoying spending time with my friends from work while we celebrated someone’s birthday…the whole time wearing a chicken costume  because I love to celebrate, well, anything. And…

Burning Woman

Dear Carter, I hate today. Today is the hardest of days for some reason only you and God probably know. I sure can’t figure it out. There’s no significance, no special meaning. It’s just a day. But I woke up pissed off, back in the dark forest, and haven’t been able to find the light…

112

*This post originally penned 9/14/17* Dear Carter, Today, it’s been 112 days since you left. 112 days since I held you. 112 days since I saw your face. 112 days since I kissed you. Today, you’ve been gone longer than you were here. Today is a hard day. Today, I miss you just as much…

6 months

Dear Carter, Happy 6 month birthday! All of my thoughts today are full of you. I woke up so angry that you had to leave. And as the day has passed, I’ve felt lots of other emotions swirling around. Of course, sadness, because I miss you so much. Fear. Guilt. Weariness. I’ve cried once. So far. But…

July 19, 2017: Wedding Day!

Dear Carter, Today, Daddy and I got married! Remember the words we said when you were in the hospital bed, while we held your hands and promised to love each other, and to love you, forever? While the machine breathed for you and the monitors showed us that your brain was too injured to work…